Any advice about partner using methamphetamine

[shethecatsmother]

Hello,
Having recently discovered that i am having my partners baby and also that for the past six months my partner has required speed daily i am really struggling.
At this moment we are living seperately due to a serious change in his personality, my creative and caring fiancee has become a bit manic, very paranoid and cannnot remember/accept his behaviour. He sleeps for days at a time and is continuous searching for things whilst he is awake. he began to shout at me every day and blames me for not being able to make him feel any better.
He recently lost his mother to lung cancer (we nursed her for the months leading to her death) and i think this is making things even more difficult for him.
If i was not expecting our child i would be with him right now, but i can't take any risks now i am going to be a mother.
I love him and feel treacherous leaving him behind but i don't know how to help him. Has anyone here any ideas as to how i should best be able to help him?
thank you for reading this.
all comments and suggestions welcome, even really odd ones, i have an open mind.:s

[Panthers007]

Take some stress off him for now. Write him a letter (words can be mis-placed and/or forgotten) telling him you care for him. And you want him to heal and get better. That you must now focus on becoming a mother to a child, and you must do that to take care of his baby. That it's a "Mother Thing." And to give you a call when he has pulled out of his current slump.

Then do what is needed for your new life.

[shethecatsmother]

thank you very much, it's very good advice.

[beentheredonethatagain]

you may need to consider going to a safer, drug free location, such as a relative or shelter.

back about ten years ago my wife was expecting our child, NIK (no one I know) was using daily, she didnt want the baby to be exposed to drugs.

NIK had to get his shit together before he was aloud to be with them.

I thank her for that, she was strong enough to make tough decisions.

best of wishes and do the right thing for the little one. btdta

[moda00]

Thank you for your pm and for reading the rules. In the future of course, please remember to "swim," but it's a common mistake and certainly not anything you should be too worried about at this point; sounds like swiy has a lot on her plate.

I agree that at this point, someone needs to focus on herself and her child, and it sounds that while a difficult decision, it was wise to separate for the time. It can be so hard to deal with such a change, but realize that one cannot change another person- he has to be ready and choose that he wants to get better- for now, the best thing swiy can do is protect herself and their child, and let her partner know, perhaps in a letter as suggested, that she loves him and wants him to get well and that she needs to keep herself and the baby safe. Also it wil be stressful, it is not an easy time obviously, so be sure that swiy has some sources of support- a counselor, mentor, family, friends to talk to and spend time with, and take time to do things for oneself- journaling, prenatal yoga or massage, etc. can be great stress relievers. Best of luck!! Let us know how things go..

[pansperson]

hello, swim (some one who isnt me) has recently left husband , swim and husband have both took speed for over 10 yrs and been togeather 3 yrs. swim was ok on own has 3 kids and coped but when met husband he brought in too swims life all the things descibed , now swim no longer on the speed nor is husband but he is suffering with aggrestion,mood swings and blames swim for every thing when all she has done is save herself her kids and him. my advice is this. swiy (some one who isnt you)must keep distance from her partner from swims experience speed is not a drug taken to help with the loss of a loved one, it certainly does not blott out unhappiness like say booze would, swiy can not do anything to help him right now ,it would not hurt to have some commuincation over the phone , perhaps surggest he sees a drug counclier offer to make appointment for him and offer surpport in that way but do not feel guilty for walking away , be strong and think of swiy and baby always. swim knows how swiy is feeling and swim knows what swiy has gone through listening to all the nastiness that comes out a males mouth when they take speed . hope this helps at this moment , at moment swims husband wont even talk to her (knob) .