Boyfriend's Addiction to amphetamines

[Troubled-Girl]

I really need some advice here.I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and love him dearly.In all the time I have known him he has regularly taken speed, and has done for around 8 years.We've had a difficult relationship, many arguments, often over nothing, always caused by him.He's easily agitated and interprets things the wrong way, refuses to talk about things and never accepts responsibility.I used to think that i must have been to blame in some way for these rows and just couldnt see where i was going wrong.But not now, I've come to realise that the way he behaves is classic signs of amphetamine abuse.He is a great man, has a great job, but I am scared that he is going to ruin it all. He relies on this stuff to function normally, to get him through his normal day, this isn't a social thing.It is now affecting his whole life, could someone please advise me on what i can do, and how i can go about approaching him on this one?I am at my lowest point.x

[newman]

Hi There, I feel for you. At this point you have to understand after 8 years of speed use, Quiting is going to be almost imposible with out help from an expert. Also willl he discuss the situation with you, or does he freak out when you bring it up ? If he wont talk to you then there is not much you can do. Just to be clear by speed you are talking about cristal meth? Is there an outside sorce that might be able to be there when you talk to him ? Is his use itself getting in the way of your relationship ? Or are you just against speed use ?


Some People Can function quite normally while addicted.


If you love him and are not willing to leave, then I can only sugest you be supportive and also get some counseling for yourself.


PM me for more moral support or any questions.

[tweakerfrommars]

"I am at my lowest point.x"


The thing is, for him tobe in the state of mind where he is receptive to outside help, he needs to have hit his lowest point. And from what you say, he seems to be living with the addiction very well; don't get me wrong, the way he treats you and the deterioration of his personality are not good things, but a lot of people can't even hold a steady job while addicted to meth. It just seems like he hasn't come to a pointyet where he feels he needs help, and because of this almost certainly will not be receptive to any.


After almost a decade of use though, there are other problems to start worrying about--his physical health--especially if he frequently does large doses. Liver damage, kidney damage, (if he smokes it) severe lung damage, (if he snorts it) nasal and sinus damage, all-but-irrepairable damage to dopamine receptors in the brain (which, if he does decide to quit, could leave him severely depressed for a long time after getting clean--it's not uncommon to last 6 months to a year or more while the brain tries to salvage what's left after so much abuse), risk of developing amphetamine psychosis, damage to the reproductive organs possibly leaving him sterile (if it hasn't happened already), erectile dysfunction, greatly increased susceptibility to cardiovascular disease or disorders, great susceptibility to stroke, and from some reading I've been doing on recent research studies, possible development of cancerous cells. The list is long and goes on. Oh, not to mention weakened or rotting teeth and weakened bonesas calcium and other nutrients dwindle more and more (unless he supplements his use with these things, of course).


Of course, he may not be exposed to a lot of this for a long time, but if he's already gone 8 years without feeling the need to quit, what's to say he won't go 8 more? By then it may be too late.

[paulywould]

I agree with tweakerfrommars. He has to hit bottom. Something significant needs to happen in order for him to see the need to quit, in order for him to want to quit Tweaker listed a whole bunch of things that happen that might make him want to stop. It also could include losing you as a girlfreind, although that could increase his use as well. With my experience and knowing the experience of many others, he will probably need a rehab to et offf the shit. That's just because daily use might have taken away his ability to stay awake all day and function without it which would lead to him using again. When I quit coke, I could not stay awake and ended up doing it again. When I quit meth, I slept a very very long time. About 18hrs per day for a month before I could function. Point out the things that tweaker mentioned and ask him to try not using for a week. Tell him if he does that you'll leave him alone, if he can't he should get help to quit. Judging from what you told us, I don't think he'll be able to work and do what he needs to without it. Good luck, you have a tough one on your hands.

[discobloodbath]

the only thing you can do is leave him and live your life. its sad but really what else can you do? you cant make him stop if he doesnt really want to. its your life and if you want to spend it waiting for him to stop and change its your choice, just remember its not gonna change untill he wants it to.

[sands of time]

8 years is a long time, quiting will leave him a wreck, mentally and physically, for along time. When someone uses amphetamines of any type for that length of time, they sort of slip into they're own world where the only thing they care about is preserving they're habbit. they won't let anyone, even the closest people in they're life, get in the way. I hate to say it but there really isn't much you can do, other than suggesting to him that he should see a doctor or visit rehab soon. Also, weening off amphetamines with smaller and smaller doses of basic amphetamine might be the best option, since the withdrawls are very serious. If he does decide to stop using, or ween himself off, he should take some days off work if possible, to catch up on sleep.

[manda]

Not everyone who does drugs wants to bottom out, see the error of their ways and quit. I've done it for 13 years, more on then off- Why? Because I wanted to.
Your boyfriend you said 8 years of use, and he uses to get thru the day. What makes you think he wants to stop?

Unless he has told you this, don't pin hope on it.

I just read your post again, and honestly is the best way to approach him, in a real non-judgemental way if possible. Tell him what your fears are. Ask him conversationally, "Well, honey, DO you ever think about quitting? Why or why not?" Listen carefully to his answer. Let him complete it. Then at least you'll know how he feels about quitting.


To SandsofTime: I resemble that remark, but not everyone who's done meth for years is fried and in need of in house treatment. I have my own home, which I pay all the bills for, I am putting a roof over my head, on 1/2 an acre of ocean-view property. I am actually needing to tighten up, so low and behold, a meth user who can afford groceries. I have traveled overseas, lived in Mexico, and have friends from all walks of life. I am preparing to meet with my career counselours to arrange federally-funded college education within the next two weeks. Til then I guess I'll stay busy with my computer class, spending time with close friends, enjoying a nice meal and drinks occasionally, and playing on the forum. I am also preparing to reclaim the license I lost 3 years ago, and my father has given me a cute little inexpensive car. Actually, life is O.K. But I don't use meth daily, or weekly. It's not fair to assume anyone with many years of experience is all fouled up. But about 7 years ago, Sands, I could have given anyone a run for their money...and that wasn't good.
Edited by: manda

[sands of time]

I agree that occasional use is the best form of use when it comes to meth. Not using at all, I think we can agree, is generally the best for most people.

Something happens though when you use such a powerful drug as meth daily for long periods of time. Most are overwhelmed as they're bodies start utalizing and depending on the chemical for energy. Not only that, but dopamine receptors begin to burn out after extensive use, and without the drug, there is less dopamine going through the brain and dopamine receptors to bind with the dopamine, which means severe depression. I agree that meth makes you perform more efficiently, but once you take meth out, you will be lucky to perform half as well in your everyday life.

I know many occasional users have no problem keeping there use occasional, but for most people, extensive long term use is both ignorent and dangerous. It's like putting your body on overdrive everyday, gears start grinding and you burn youself out. Anyone whose been up 4 days in a row knows that it's terrible for your body. Anyone whose been strung out on stimulent drugs know it's even worse. Basicly, amphetamines are fun... but moderation is the key to having your fun and staying healthy.

[manda]

I think the only reason I have the control is so many years of not having it- I know what I don't want to be. It's still harder than anyting in life should be, don't get me wrong.... http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/smileys/smiley11.gif Edited by: manda

[sands of time]

I as well. I learned the hard way. I look at how I was and I'm a much stronger person than I ever was then. There's no high like achieving self confidence and success without a drug.

[tweakerfrommars]

"There's no high like achieving self confidence and success without a drug."


Amen to that.


I too have become a much strongerpersonafter recovering from meth abuse. In fact, I would even go so far as to say I am stronger than before I ever began doing any drugs at all because of that experience. For this Iam grateful for that period in my life.

[manda]

Any addict that quits, any meth addict that quits, I tip my hat to and propose a toast. So let's drink to the health of Tweakerfrommars and Sands of Time. They have shown intelligence and bravery, and should be commended for setting such a great example.

To Sands! http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/smileys/smiley32.gif
TO Tweakerfrommars! http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/smileys/smiley4.gif