do you think that there is hope (boyfriend's cocaine use)

[Lis]

Hi everyone..


Well here is my story.. i need some advice please.. i am 25 years old and i have been dating this very nice man for a couple months.. we broke up for a couple and just got back together.. I am a grad student and i work full time at a huge food manufacturer company as a engineer so let's just say that i am very stable. This guy that i am dating did have his own business.. buthe is in real bad shape.. he was using cocaine,, not sure how much or whatever but that is why we initially broke up.. he said that he didn't want to pull me down because he was not so great.. i just talked with him last week and he said that he is on house arrest for another DUI.. and that he has quit the drugs.. do you think that there is hope for him to stop.. that he might really be able to quit.. i don't want to get involved again if he is going to go back to the habit.. I am so confused.. i am not sure at all about drug abuse.. i came from a "Leave it to Beaver" kinda life so i am not sure.. please help.. thank you all!!

[searcher]

I'd say get on with your life and let him deal with his own problems, find someone who doesn't have issues.

[Kemikaru_Tenshu]

There is always hope that he will stop, or will get it under control. But it is not on this hope that you should stake your relationship, or more importantly your future. You sound like you have a good life, do not let this individuals problems take that from you. If he can get it together, for himself and not for you, then you should by all means give him another chance. But do not put yourself into a position where he can bring you down with him, because he will regaurdless of if he means to or not. This is the nature of addiction.


Let him know that you will be there for him when he gets himself together but not before. Let him know that he needs to clean up his life for himself, and give him the time and the space to do so.


Hope this helps.





~KT