View Full Version : So who kicked methadone cold turkey?
Was on meth for 5 years, and walked off 25mg 14 days ago...actually took 50mg the last day. The worst has past for sure. Still have dopesickness in me though.
So how did you finally kill it? Need to kill this and never look back. This has been the hardest withdrawal of my life.
Just been blasting music and dancing like crazy, hitting hard as hell to break my muscles. Moving around feels good.
Sitting around moping makes me feel horrible, need really loud music and to move and feel better.
What about you guys? How did you kill it?
I did use benzos from day 3 to day 10 and had horrible rebound anxiety from them, these past days....but seems to have left now. Just left with that gross dope sick feeling. Strength is coming back too.
Looking for some suggestions. Thanks.
that's along time on methadone dude. You deserve a lot of credit. I can't personally vouch for how hard it is but I've had friends that went back to street dope to get off methadone. You're right the worst should be over. All the treatment centers I've been in I know pump a lot of vitamins into guys coming off dope. say the levels are depleted for awhile. you're probably doing the right thing keeping active. mopers tend to just stay that way. By a book called the complete guide to rational recovery. it's good dude, not 12 step stuff at all. tells you why your brain makes you do things you think you don't want to.
I don't know what to really tell you otherwise other than think about the whole methadone program and who makes out in that deal. it ain't the addicts as I'm sure you've found. there's a Dr on my road that owns 3 clinics and he's gotten really fat from them.
I just wanted to say something positive to you when I saw your thread. that's a tough battle. hang in there. I really hate to see people's lives run by drugs. it shouldn't have to be that way.
There is no easy way off meth. I had to do this since couldnt take being controlled by it anymore, along with the clinic system. I have some friends that will be on for life probably. Im not going that way. Only 26. Have my whole life ahead of me. Got caught up into heroin at a young age and hopped on meth and never able to get off. Had to say screw it and endure this withdrawal. I have tried many times to cold turkey it. Finally did it this time. Well, doing it, too far now to go back. I beat it in my mind, just need to kill it now.
Good start Brother,
Yeah, the worst is over. I always listened to hard ass rock kicking narcotics and danced. The movement seems to give some sort of release. Then when I got a week or two in I would go hit tennis balls up against the backboard. Heavy exercise that I enjoyed really helped me. I don't know if you are quiting everything but good weed helped a lot too. Music though is totally incredible after the deadening effect of long term methadone. I know all about it. I shot dope for thirty three years off and on. I always felt like a prisoner when on MMT and hated it. I even went so far as to do rapid opiate detox coming off off 150mgs. I would not wish ROD on my worst enemy. (well, maybe my worst enemy). Get exercise, try to eat, smoke weed, take a little bit of a downer, do some clonidine, Immodium is great for the stomach cramps, do what you got to do to get that damn methadone out of your system. If you are a praying man then pray for some slack, or some sleep, whatever. SWIM still does does drugs but does not fuck with methadone anymore. I hated being controled by those losers. Best of luck, Eukodol
sands of time
19-02-2006, 04:47
Congrats to all you who are getting off the junk! Eukadol, you make a great point about the immodium. That works wonders for sure. It actually works like an opiate in the stomach, but it does not pass the blood-brain barrier. If it did, it would be a narcotic believe it or not.
Thanks for the reply all.
Yeah, smoking. Didnt have any today though. Drinking a bit. Been using imodium for last few days too. It seemed to work good the first day, now cant feel it.
Took last clonidine last night, may be getting rebound effects from taht too.
Benzos help ALOT, but ran out. Its ok though, last thing I want to do is get hooked on those.
So hopefully with just some weed and drinking and time and exercise can make it out of this life of misery.
Methadone is the worst. Curse the day I went on it. Although was never able to stop dope, so who knows where I would be today.
Also wanted to say, I truely feel for anyone on methadone. You guys are in for the ride of your life one day. I wish you the easiest detox possible.
Anyone who reads this, be careful with opiates. The time will come when you will suffer and it isnt worth the little high the opiate gave you. Trust me.
And yeah, the music is great. Probably only thing keeping me sane.
Man, I way over did it yesterday. I feel like someone sucked the soul right out of me. Dope sick from the depths of hell.
I would commit a crime for a benzo right now.
Getting some weed shortly I 'hope'.
I can see why people kill themselves over this stuff now. Horrible.
hang in there deji, I wanna read your posts for a long time. It kills me that the gov. is willing to stand behind the MMT as a geat success but refuses to decriminalize drugs like pot and mdma.
I know I have to learn this swim thing someday, and I will.
Smoked a bit of weed and made all the difference. Feeling better. It raises you up out of hell a bit, but still on fire for sure.
Only day 15, hopefully will be out of acute withdrawal by day 30 or 45. Maybe even sooner. Just have to take it day by day and realize this is only temporary, and only I can end it for myself. I have to bury this disease of mine and forget where I buried it.
I finally realized something. Weed brings you to peace in withdrawal. You learn to accept it much better. Without weed, it is pure hell. Earlier today was the worst I have ever felt in my life, was even having suicidal thoughts. Would never suicide, but the thoughts were still there, relating to how someone would kill themselves over this. Smoked, it brought me to total peace and rest of day has been smooth. Filled with wonderful music. Heard dj czesslove-breakstorm on the radio, was amazing. Was checking all over for this CD trying to find it too hehe. I can finally FEEL music again. And its great.
Oh well, just wanted to mention that.
Day 17, very sick today :( Was not able to sleep at all. So sleep defecit is filling and feel like crap.
Feels like this will never end.
sarah_marie
22-02-2006, 03:36
Wow you are doing great hang on in there I have also been on methadone coming up for the 6th year now I am on 25ml now was reducing weekly before and got down from 90ml -10ml in about a year but relapsed and got them to put me back up to 25ml I so badly want of this now I want to feel normal even though I have'nt felt normal in 8 years so have forgotten what it feels like.
You are doing great man I did'nt realise methadone withdrawal lasts that long I have only been 1 day without and could'nt do it you have great will power :)
If you wanna talk I'm here
Slept a bit, feeling better.
When kicking methadone, you HAVE to control the sleep. If you let the withdrawal control it, the following day will be much worse. Because the withdrawal carries on forever and it will end up rocking your world if you let it.
Anyways, kicking MMT cold turkey is one hell of a ride. I never knew withdrawal could get that bad. Was the sickest I have ever been in my life yesterday, 17 days straight withdrawal, no sleep for like a week. Damn, was rocking me. Thank god my body shut down and passed out finally. I was even starting to see shadows and stuff fly by me. The lowest of low.
Getting some sleep aids today, so next days should be smooth I hope, have to be careful since last thing I want is another drug to hook into me. Need to push closer to day 30. Hopefully by then my body will kick up endorphin production. Once the methadone has left you, you are just a chemically depleted person suffering endlessly.
sands of time
22-02-2006, 21:48
Deji, I would like to thank you for sharing your struggles with all of us. I hope this thread will make people think twice before using such a serious drug. Hang in there!
Thanks man,
Just trying to give inspiration to other people feeling trapped on MMT like I did, showing that it can be done.
Also, as you said, hopefully people will think twice before getting on MMT.
And before anyone tries anything crazy like I did. Be ready, it gets bad, worse than you could ever imagine. You just have to stay strong and agree to yourself that wherever teh withdrawal takes you, you will go. Its a life changing experience, and you have to dig deep inside of you for strength.
Nagognog2
22-02-2006, 22:52
Well, methadone was originally named Dolophine in honor of Adolph Hitler (it was invented in Nazi Germany during WWII). I'll bet that comes as no surprise to you.
Deji, hang in dude, you're doing a great job. I hope you inspire a lot of people here that you can take control of yourslef when your sick and tired.
you mention about not wanting to be addicted to another drug, think benzos. most treatment facilities I've been in have people suffering opiate withdrawal on a sleep aid called remeron (not positive about the spelling). apparently it works well and has less potential for addiction than many others (like benzos -- they're sneaky bastards). lunesta is pretty good too accept for the taste in your mouth the next day. these are just suggestions to look into not advice from a medical professional.
my stints in rehab seeing people come off opiates has always made me really consider if that's what I want to have to pay back with someday. I don't. thanks for keeping it green for me. good luck
Wyborowa
23-02-2006, 00:39
First of all, i would like to congratulate you on your difficult journey. I hope God gives you the strenght to carry on as a human being without being impaired by any chemicals at all. A pure person.
But on a different note, i am very surprised that you are not on suboxone. This is a wonderful drug. It's taken to detox you off heroin and opiates. You let the orange tablet dissolve under your tounge, and in about half an hour, your dopesickness is vanished! You actually feel normal. Right now i'm on a suboxone maintenece program, after so many weeks at one dosage, you slowly, slowly taper off, and eventually, u take a little crumble of the pill and then your good to go!!
The problem is, you need to find a doctor who is certified to prescribe suboxone, even then , there may be a waiting period because they are only allowed 30 patients on it at a time. I'm surprised people still go on methadone, when this suboxone is availible to them. I'm telling you, its great! You can easily find a buprenorphine (main ingredient in suboxone) doctor near you. Just to go yahoo.com and type in, Buprenorphine doctors, and there will be a website where u can enter ur location, and it will give you a list.
Good luck man! Hang in there!:)
Subs is just like methadone. Opiod maintenance. Works a bit different of course. Wanted to rid my life of opiates 100% and not be 'dependent' on a chemical just to feel 'normal'. You arent even normal anyway, you are just numbed to keep your disease in check. Well, at least I was.
You wont see me at the clinic ever again or giving them tons of cash ever again :)
By the way, I do believe in sub or methadone detox to ease the withdrawal. But not maintenence, especially MMT. Subs are supposedly a bit genter withdrawal, but if you look around, you wont find that to be that true.
Not sure how long you have been on maintenance, but think about what you want. The longer on maintenance, the harder it is to get off. With methadone that is true for sure, wouldnt see how any different than subs since its a long acting opiate that hooks into your brain very tightly. And its only when you try to get off you will see how bad its hooked into you.
Knew a dude that was on subs for 7 years. He was STILL sick after 5 months even after jumping off the lowest dose possible. Just educate yourself on long term maintenance. And PAWS as well, since longer on maintenance, the worse your PAWS will be, driving you back to opiates/opiods. The worst part being the sleep. Know people that kicked long term methadone and 3 years later and sleep still aint right. You can speed it up by lots of exercise and eating right. Sitting around and eating like crap, paws may never leave. You are only 18 man, have your whole life ahead of you. Kill this disease now while you can. You dont want to end up like me, thats for sure. Or even worse, 40 years old and still on maintenance. And the grand finally, maintenance for life.
But I know how it is. Day to day heroin addiction is a miserable way to live. We take the easy way out and hop on maintenance without even thinking twice about it. I did the same.
Herbal Remedy
23-02-2006, 21:04
i dont want to hijack the thread at all, i was just wondering if taking methadone blocks the effects of other painkillers. Swim isnt into the hard stuff so much but he is in a great deal of pain and his perscribed vicodin wont do shit. swim is wondering if he got a lil methadone and took it, would that weaken the effects of the vicodin or would they be a good combo for pain n all? just wanted to make sure i was getting my info from reliable people so any replies would be greatly appreciated... peace!
herbal, methadone is a very good painkiller.unfortunately if you listen to these guys you'll find that you gotta pay the loss of pain back with interest like one of those 0% credits cards that you miss one payment on (like 26% or something) takes a long time to pay it back. figure out where yo're pain is coming from.
vicodin only ever made swims nose and ears itch alot. thought there were alot of other better but also potentially more addictive meds out there. shifting from vicodin to methadone woudl be like going from BAYER to oxycontin.
as for the suboxon, the last treatment center I was in (Hazelden) I beleive would only keep you on it at the most 21 days, and that was only a select few hard core, down and outers. they wanted you off at least a week before you got shiped off to wherever. don't rmember people having a lot of withdrawal after being taken off suboxone. can't imagine any place (except unless of course you are county funded) that would want you staying on it for a long time.
was in one place before hazelden that had guys (county funded) on seraquil, methadone, trazadone, and remeron for six months without any end in site (as long as county $ was coming in). they got their meds at 8:00, by the 8:45 lecture half the residents were slumped over giving themselves head. i know that's a nasty metaphor but it's the most accurate way to describe their state. most of them had a puddle of drool all over the floor where they were slumped. nobody cared. best thing was half these guys thought they were actually getting better. if you have been on maintainance meds for 6 months and catatonic half the time in a rehab facility what kinda life is that. I lasted about 48 hours in that place before I bolted AMA (against medical advice).
hang in there deji. no point in going on meds now bud. in a week you're gonna feel better than now and so on. I have so much respect for you being able to do this on you're own. not giving into the "professionals" and I use that term loosely. the only profeesionals in this game I know are guys like you bud that just get sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Well, I did take a handful of benzo over last couple days. I never used a benzo in my life before this withdrawal. So, just need a little and helps like crazy. Got a 4 hour nap yesterday and then 9 hour last night. This may be last day of benzo since 2 day vacation is good. Just needed to rest up and get some strength and retake control, it was kicking my ass these last few days, horrible. Hopefully doesnt go that bad again once the benzos stop.
Need to earn my sleep back on my own to really take care of this.
CrookedEye
24-02-2006, 02:28
I went to the Netherlands to do Iboga, and that is how I beat methadone... I was on 100mgs a day.. I had been on it for over 3 years, and was addicted to heroin and pills for about 3 years before that... The iboga sure pushed me far along in the withdrawal, but I have been opiate free for 2 years in april... I feel good, no cravings, and I have also quit cigs, drinking soda and sweets, and my opiate tolerance has been reset... I nodded off of two vicodins I had when I had broken bones, since then. They were not hard to stop, either, when the pain subsided... Best of luck, just stay strong...
CrookedEye: There's an Ibogaine experience thread here
http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4863&page=2&highlight=Iboga
Please consider contributing your experience
Not any ibogaine in USA, have to cruise to mexico and pay like 6k for metahdone. Or to vancouver, not sure if free there or costs, but long waiting lists I hear.
Neither an options for me, although, would have done it in a second. Probably takes you on the experience of your life doesnt it?
CrookedEye
24-02-2006, 14:19
It only cost me about $2,200 US to fly to Amsterdam, stay for a week, paid for food, cannabis, iboga treatment, and a week stay... Thanks, jalteka, I'll check out the thread and post a writeup soon...
http://www.drugwar.com/sitwchap29.shtm
Here is photos of the lady who gave me treatment, Soma, who I also met, and some of Sara's plants... The article was written by a member of the ibogaine mailing list I belong to..
Swim is all blazed up on benzos and weed. Swim has finally escaped the withdrawal for the time being. Although some parts still exist, just not in pure agony for "today" It should come back soon enough though, so enjoying every minute of this.
Today is day 20, usually at day 21 people say nice changes happen, you arent cured of course, next step is 30 day, then 45 day, then 60 and should be into PAWS for sure by then. Probably sooner though, since keep myself moving.
CrookedEye
24-02-2006, 21:26
Vitamins can help you recover faster, melatonin and benadryl is good for helping sleep...
Yeah, gonna give those a shot after today.
But when in severe withdrawal, they just give me 'medicine' head, cant sleep and feel even crappier.
But should be good enough now to allow those to work.
And definitely been eating b12 complex, and drinking lots of boost protien shakes throught the entire withdrawal.
melatonin won't give you the med head, not saying it's all that either but this oldman will rotate between prescribed sleeping meds and melatonin. like you mentioned earlier 2-3 days on sleep meds then a break of at least a day or so is good practice to follow. been on some sort of sleep meds for many years now and have found that if you want them to work when you need them, don't always use them when you don't. even if you can't sleep. sometimes you just gotta go that night or so off and be restless. take the melatonin rigt before you lay down, if you allow more than a half hour or so laying around watching tv after taking them, they're of no use.
as for the benadryl, won't put me to sleep, just relaxes me some and actually keeps me awake. some people are the other way though. you probably know which you are deji.
hang in there bud.
Slept 5 hours last night. Been 2 days since ate a benzo. So maybe benzo half-life playing tricks on me. Withdrawal still there, just not miserable. Will have to wait another day or two to check out the full story.
But today is day 22. 8 more days and will be at the 30 day mark. Cant wait. Even if I still feel like shit, seeing 30 days clean from methadone will feel good.
Benzos make you stupid as hell. Hope I never have to eat them again. Lost my pipe even, been looking for it all morning.
Keep it up mate! This ongoing report has been very insightful and informative.
"Benzos make you stupid as hell. Hope I never have to eat them again." They certainly do, and hopefully you wont. SWIM has used benzos recreationally over the years and has always found that there's an insidious creep to use.
Have you tried meditation (if you're into that kind of thing)? SWIM found it helpful with her alcohol issues.
They make you forget and really slow. I think it was day 8 or so. Took my dog out at like 2am. Forget about him, realized at 6am he was still out. It was cold too. Never did them recreationally, just through withdrawals. One of swims friends had a pretty nasty OD with benzo + heroin combo. They are dangerous when mixed with opiates.
Dont meditate, but blasting some nice breaks and sounds nice. Quiet room is no good it seems. Need to let the music get into you and helps alot. I think music is the most important thing that helps. Toss a little weed, music sounds even better and will start to dance maybe.
Must try to control the temperature too. Was off the hook the past week and a half. Still have one, just not as bad. To be honest, was scared to even check the actual temperature. Probably would have scared me too much. But thank god it went down some. Making sure taking plenty of fluids from here on out.
Keep it up mate! This ongoing report has been very insightful and informative.
"Benzos make you stupid as hell. Hope I never have to eat them again." They certainly do, and hopefully you wont. SWIM has used benzos recreationally over the years and has always found that there's an insidious creep to use.
Have you tried meditation (if you're into that kind of thing)? SWIM found it helpful with her alcohol issues.
yeah, you're right they (benzos) do sneak up on you. kinda hard to say no to. that's why I stopped using them several years ago as a sleep aid. I just stick to ambien, lunesta, and melatonin now.
like what you said about meditation. it's hard to get yourself into it on your own if you haven't before. during rehab stints had a lot of work with it. guided meditation type stuff. at least I got something out of those places. check around or by a tape or something. meditation new age stuff. even if you only do it now and then it does offer something. will still find myself doing it from time to time. also found it very helpful dealing with alcohol addiction.
allyourbase
26-02-2006, 22:48
low doses of a barbiturate seem to work best at killing dopesickness. this is of course slightly problematic because they are in their own rights addictive.
Thanks
Think most of the dopesickness has left me now. Went to sleep early and slept a good 5 hours straight unassisted. Just have some lingering effects left it seems. Coldness, sneezing, and just an after feelign that only people that been through this understand, hard to explain. But like a weak/fatigued/sore feeling. Still have a temp too though. So cant fool myself to thinking this is over, but the worst is 100%. Almost through the kick of this crap. Need another day or two to find out the truth.
Once fully into PAWS, gonna start a strict exercise and eating plan to pack on the pounds. Your testosterone surges when you kick methadone and its the best time to get big, or least pack on some lbs. Can already feel it getting stronger since been moody as hell lately.
Today is day 23 :)
CrookedEye
27-02-2006, 10:14
Congrats!! Swim found that cannabis eased some of the minor PAW, such as stomach cramps and minor aches, as well as aided in sleep.. Hang in there, in another month, you'll feel like you used to, I am betting...
Last night was a good night for swim. Swim smoked a large amount of weed and was completely blazed. Swim then played his plump dj - eargasm disc and started to spin out. Swim felt like he was 15 again and smoked too many bong hits and didnt even feel the withdrawal. Swim passed out and slept like a baby for 6 hours.
Swim just woke up to a nice wake and bake and is feeling good.
Swim has been 24 days without methadone and is proud of himself.
Well Deji, it sounds like you are doing a lot better. I KNOW that good sleep from the benzo's must have helped a lot. You sound like you know enough about benzo's to realize how addictive they are. SWIM came off 8mg. of Ativan a night long term (3 years of it), had a seizure a week after quiting Ativan cold turkey and still don't sleep right eighteen months later. It was a truly bad withdrawal. I was totally ignorant of how addictive benzo's are. Dolophine does not come from Adolph as Nagognog2 proposes. ( I thought it did too, for years). The Germans certainly did invent Dolophine when the Russian southern army front cut off their ready supply of Opium in 1943. It comes from two latin words; Dolor- meaning pain or sorrow and Fin- meaning the end. Remember Deji, music and weed. Every day now will get better and better. You bout got it licked. I never say never. After 34 years experience I know how strong and subtle my addiction is and keeping it under control is next to impossible so I just try to lessen the impact by just having a little fun (hydrocodone or oxycodone) instead of a lot of fun (heroin). Hang in their brother. My prayers are with you. Eukadol
Thanks man.
Those benzos really did save me. When I took that first benzo was the sickest I ever was. Was like a week no real sleep and so sick. Escaped into benzo and weed land for a few days, was able to eat and rest really nice. And ever since then, the withdrawal has been manageable.
Was feeling like crap last night and this morning, but think since I was getting dehydrated again. But feeling a bit better now.
Just gonna ride this thing out. Hopefully seeing day 30 will throw some kind of switch off in my head and will see a drastic improvement.
Has been 4 weeks today since drank a dose of methadone. Still feel like crap. After being dependent on opiates/opiods for 7 years straight, gonna be some time before I feel right I think. Have on/off days where one day I think I may be feeling better, then the next is just a miserable day.
Forcing myself to sleep more instead of jumping up at 3am into a cloud of fog thinking I have a dose to drink. Hopefully that habit kicks in quick and will stop waking up as much.
Swim hasnt smoked weed in nearly 2 days, so these last 2 days have been depressing.
SWIM really appreciates your ongoing committment (? sp she always has trouble with that one!): Both to your withdrawal and to expanding the knowledge base. Best wishes and much love and luck X
Its day 32 or so and starting to feel better. Still a bit sick, nothing serious though really. Just really annoying if anything. Sleep is still pretty jagged, can fall asleep no problem, but wake up alot. Lots of really strange dreams too.
Easier to keep up with eating good and exercise at this point too. Can rebuild the body fast as long as you try hard.
have heard the same thing about sleep and dreams among friends in you're shoes. dreaming is very healthy, you probably didn't dream so much on dope. don't think you dream a lot on benzos either, at least I don't. glad to hear you're doing good. look into remeron (spelling?) if you're in need of a long term sleep aid. lunesta too. don't want to read a similar thread about deji and kicking benzos in a few months. withdrawal from a long term benzo habit is not pretty either. you don't deserve to suffer anymore right?
Nah, havent taken a benzo in weeks. Only way I will take a benzo is when I am too sick to even move, and need sleep more than anything. Not like that anymore, so dont need them.
I took a lunesta earlier in the withdrawal. It made me feel like a piece of metal. Hard to explain, but was nasty, didnt even work.
Sleep isnt really that bad part, definitely sleeping and it will come back, can get a short clip of sleep in the day, and a couple clips at night. Worst part about the sleep is actually waking up, since have so much anger in you and realize you're going to feel this way for some time.
Its the depression that is the worst part of all this though. Just hoping that will lift a bit soon so can get back to a normal life. I dont think its life depression though, just sickness depression. Like I mentioned, you wake up feeling like a pile of waste, and nothing you can do about it. That right there is really depressing.
CrookedEye
10-03-2006, 18:40
everyday gets easier... take it one day at a time... great job, so far!!
Swim will give a little update...
Today is 2 months since swims last dose of methdone. Swim is definitely feeling much better, but still bad at the same time. Swim is sleeping more hours, but lots of waking up. Higher pain levels with lots of aches and pains. Swim is still a bit sick in the mornings, and feeling a negative buzz most of the day. All in all, its not that bad physically really. Just annoying. The worst part is the deep hole left in swim. Swim knows that all he needs is a bag of dope to feel right again and swims battles these thoughts on a daily basis. Swim has still not touched an opiate yet though. Swim has no clue how long this will last, but he is determined to make it through to the other side of being normal once again, whatever normal is...Cannibus does help greatly though, and little beer here and there. Thats all swim has been messing with lately. Swim is going to try salvia soon and see if it can help his mind a bit.
CrookedEye
01-04-2006, 23:55
Swim knows that all he needs is a bag of dope to feel right again and swims battles these thoughts on a daily basis. That will last about 4 hours or so, then you'll be worse than you feel now and it gets even harder... You are far along... A few more weeks and a good hobby, and you should be free!! :D Best of luck, and look into Iboga, sure eliminated any craving SWIM had...
unico_walker
02-04-2006, 05:57
This is an amazing and inspiring thread, methadone withdrawl is hellish because of the length so SWIM has tons of respect for you.
This isn't meant to encourage you back into opiates, but do you know about poppy seed/pod tea? SWIM finds that for those times when you are really thinking about going back some tea can give you a low level buzz that takes away the desire while being mild with no WD.
SWIM has used it to stay away from pharmaceutical opiates by allowing myself some tea every few months with no ill effects.
Just something to think about if the cravings get unbearable.
Thanks man,
Just trying to give inspiration to other people feeling trapped on MMT like I did, showing that it can be done.
Also, as you said, hopefully people will think twice before getting on MMT.
And before anyone tries anything crazy like I did. Be ready, it gets bad, worse than you could ever imagine. You just have to stay strong and agree to yourself that wherever teh withdrawal takes you, you will go. Its a life changing experience, and you have to dig deep inside of you for strength.
SWIM seconds this.
methadone is someone's idea of a cruel joke
swim is on day 6 of cold-turkey wd from meth, hydro, and xanax and you will never imagine how bad it is until you experience it
I don't remember exactly how long swim had been on the meth-no more than 6 months. only 10mg's daily
Daily opiate intake for 1year+
total
Can't think. Can't eat. Can't sleep.
Afraid that when I am required back at work tomorrow-can't work.
Leave this god-forsaken drug alone!
Swim will give a little update...
Today is 2 months since swims last dose of methdone. Swim is definitely feeling much better, but still bad at the same time. Swim is sleeping more hours, but lots of waking up. Higher pain levels with lots of aches and pains. Swim is still a bit sick in the mornings, and feeling a negative buzz most of the day. All in all, its not that bad physically really. Just annoying. The worst part is the deep hole left in swim. Swim knows that all he needs is a bag of dope to feel right again and swims battles these thoughts on a daily basis. Swim has still not touched an opiate yet though. Swim has no clue how long this will last, but he is determined to make it through to the other side of being normal once again, whatever normal is...Cannibus does help greatly though, and little beer here and there. Thats all swim has been messing with lately. Swim is going to try salvia soon and see if it can help his mind a bit.
Man no wonder your withdrawal lasted so long with all those negative thoughts. It is now proven that positive thinking heals the body and mind.
Swims was on 120mg's of meth his last dose was 80 and that was 14 days ago. Swim feels amazing and its all due to positive thinking, exercise and diet. But positive thinking is the most important aspects of life! A negative person will complain all the time about pain and suffering, while the positive thinking person will just get on with it and can achieve anything.
ITS ALL IN THE MIND! The human body is so much more stronger than we could ever possibly imagine!
No offence but other methadone addicts that read this thread are gong to be mentally making it worse for themselves, FACT.
Anyone that thinks different please say so because swim is so positive and alive after a 2 n a 1/2 year opiates/heroin/methadone/Valium/xanax/bromazepam/temazepam/GBL/GHB addiction plus 10 years of drug use before(weed and uppers) that and a whole load of regrets, 13 criminal offences plus a shit load more mental problems and it took Swim only 10 days to recover! Only 3 days were pure hell but he is so thankful to have experienced it.
Swim has been swimming twice for a good 2 hours solid both times, hiking up 2 hills after camping out all night. Its now day 14 and Swim is going to tie kickboxing lessons tomorrow and he found it very hard when he was on methadone. Swim feels fitter, much more clear headed, can see that everything is so bright and colourful now and has even started cooking real healthy meals again. Not shite packaged/micro food.
Swim personally thinks this is a very negative thread for addicts to read.
Sorry deji, you done very well but Swim thinks you could have done it so much quicker and easier.
Oggy, I couldn't disagree more.
One fact you overlook is that everybody is different.
I think its remarkable that swiy have made such a complete recovery.
That is not to say that those results should be expected by all.
Furthermore, this thread helped swim quite a bit. It wasn't discouraging, just a relief to know that others have experienced the same. Some of the advice herein helped as well.
BTW, swim has just about fully recovered from his wd's as of the 9th day.
Slight restlessness at bedtime, otherwise great.
Back at work and very effective.
We are all the same, we are all interlinked within each others souls.
We can end the negative cycles and reveal the power of love in action. Then there is benefit in all our interactions. In this way each and every one of us can contribute to a better world.
outriderx
09-05-2008, 20:01
well, to the starter i wanna ask something, how is it going with that "depression" thing? is SWIY sometimes wondering if it ever goes away? not trying to make him feel bad, just that is what SWIM feels after some months of opiate w/d.. he says its gotten a lot better, but still, every now and then he just has a (pretty strong) low.. sometimes hes quite optimistic about it, sometimes he things maybe it has been something he had before, but he kinda doubts it, it certainly has a lot to do with positive/negative attitude but not too much, after some time its just "enough"..
but also he has been messing with them after, just on a every-now-and-then basis but too much but it had a good side for him, since these days also made him feel exactly why he did NOT like it, f.e. if with friends or girlfriend and on it, hes just a piece of shit.
I think the reason Swim recovered so fast is because his withdrawal hit him so hard and all the negative thoughts were hitting Swim all at once but there was something in Swim that said "I'm a sinner punish me". Even Swim couldn't forgive himself for living such a sinful life. Abusing Swims own body for 13 years of drugs, lying, fighting, destructive behavior to him and his own loved ones and much much more. Swims negative thoughts were so bad he had panic attacks, paranoia, hallucinations, in fact think Renton out of trainspotting but much much worse altho Swim never got locked up, he simply just woke up one day and said to himself "right that's it I WANT MY LIFE BACK".
Swim was depressed, picking up his methadone every single day at the chemist and at no matter what dose Swim took or anti depressant they put him on, all of them they tried, Swim just got more and more empty inside. His soul was falling away, there was a huge empty space of emptiness in Swims heart. Swim wasn't sure about what to do about this, he also read in the news that in a part of Ireland they cut the methadone supply off. Now imagine a world crisis happened and the shops started closing or government funding stopped the supply of methadone. Swiys would be withdrawing everywhere, but that's ok cause now Swim knows we have a choice between, "LOVE & FEAR". What would you choose?
Ps Mick, well done for your successful detox Swim felt the same as you on day 9 he was almost fully recovered, he just needed to build his strength back up. Swim is so happy for you, God bless your soul and may the Angels be with you forever.
Love and peace.
You're exactly right about building strength back.
Its as if there is cement in the tennis shoes.
SWIM is 28 but feels like he's 80.
However, aside from slight insomnia, all sickness is gone.
Rebuilding SWIM's strength is definately the priority.
Thank you also for your kind words.
Good luck.
Swim also felt like he was an unhealthy 80 year old when he is 25! .He felt like he was going to die or his heart was going to pack in. He said that to his mum about feeling old when walking to the Doctors on day 6. You get younger and younger day by day, its all part of the recovery/healing process and doing this will make you feel so great and alive you'll never go near opiates again!
Amen Bro. Yesterday, my friends and I moved both me and my girl into our new apartment. I was petrified about it-afraid my body couldn't handle it. Turned out, after some vitamins, right food, and energy drink I kept in step-barely breaking a sweat(fully-loaded 24' moving truck)That was day 9!
No doubt, its getting better fast. Definately not interested in opies anymore.
-Later
I also detoxed with iboga at Sara's house in Holland. I live closer to the Netherlands than the US right now so the flight probably cost less. Either way it is worth the money to get off of the methadone. I also have digestive problems for which I was told to take Immodium, but it never helps me anyway.
JaWill88
17-09-2008, 09:09
wow swim just want's to add another congradulations. yes benzos can be really good, for short acting opioid withdrawal. for the longer ones like methadone and buprenorphine one has to be careful not to become dependent on those. and for anyone pondering coming off methadone and on to buprenorphine it could be very helpful as long as one doesn't use it for more than 3 weeks and the doses should always be lowering as to not form a dependency on that. once again props! swim finds it amazing when people detox off these long acting opioids. they make heroin withdrawal something one dreams about compared to the other. in fact most people swim knows who are on the long ones go back to their DOC for a month or two and then just go to a detox center for a week. in fact swims good friend just hit his two month mark off heroin and not on suboxone and is going to detox in the next day or two.
rxpo1111
09-10-2008, 22:44
so sorry if i am breaking rules here. you guys know whats up. i have a few questions and i am in immediate need of answers. i've only been on meth for a week, and my relapse before that only lasted 2 weeks, so i've been back on opiates for 3 weeks total, before that i was clean for a month. I'm going to inpatient detox in the morning.
i have been on methadone for 1 week, will i get withdrawals?
how long will they last?
when do they start?
the detox is 5 days, i go in tomorrow, i dosed today. I can stay there for up to 10 days, could it last longer than that?
all in all i have been using opiates for 2 weeks and methadone for 1 week. I am on 35 mgs of meth a day. can anyone help me?
oh and sorry if i should have posted this somewhere else, i just joined so i am unable to post and don't fully understand the site yet. plus i only have about 15 hours before i leave, i would sincerely appreciate anyones input.
bless
Caveat Lector. This man may be a pathological lier when he says...
[Sticks hand in the air] Me! I quit about as cold a turkey as you'd want from 200mg methadone. If you're really pedantic I quit cold-turkey from 100mg, because it went Day 1 : 200mg. Day 2 : 100mg : Days 3-~700: 0mg. I was in rehab and the only drugs I used were clonidine and Benzos to which I was addicted too. So the 10 day Benzo taper was of no use to the opiate reduction, and such a quick benzo reduction only added to the difficulties. It was, let's just say, not a wind-in-the-willows style picnic. At the risk of being a parot, there is a wonderful thead called something like "How to quit 150mg methadone cold turkey, the easy way!". I thoroughly recommend it. I've been following it on my current un-medically-supervised detox from 225mg of methadone, with the exception that I wasn't going to jump from 225, I tapered fairly quickly by about 5mg/day. I'm only 56 hours from my last 5mg but am feeling better by the hour. I'm not sure if I kicked a lot of the w.d.s into touch during the taper or whether my slightly modified version of the post I've just mentioned has made this happen. Possibly it's my sunny disposition, shear dumb luck. It's not been easy, but I'm proud to have done this on my own terms, no rehab, no meetings. I have a thread "Screaming in the night air. Help Emotional and Technical with methadone withdrawal pls", to which I refer anyone who's interested. But, beware, I am prone to gas on and on!!! I think though it gives a good idea about the degree of difficulty for this kind of thing.
[Bows out]
Love and fluffies
Dr D
Well, methadone was originally named Dolophine in honor of Adolph Hitler (it was invented in Nazi Germany during WWII). I'll bet that comes as no surprise to you.
Referred to (English) Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methadone#Origin_of_Dolophine_name
Origin of Dolophine name
A persistent but untrue urban legend claims that the trade name "Dolophine" was coined in tribute to Adolf Hitler by its German creators, and it is sometimes even claimed that the drug was originally named "adolphine" or "adolophine" or "Dolphamine". The claim is still presented as fact by Church of Scientology literature[1] and was repeated by actor and vocal Scientologist Tom Cruise in a 2005 Entertainment Weekly interview.[2] However, as the magazine pointed out, this is not true: the name "Dolophine" was in fact created after the war by the American branch of Eli Lilly,[3] and the pejorative term "adolphine" (never an actual name of the drug) appeared in the United States in the early 1970s
This refferes to:
http://www.indro-online.de/discovery.pdf
...For the reasons given above, it is dishonest to state that "methadone" had widely been used during the war as a painkiller and a substitute for morphine under the trade name Dolophin (Dolophine), allegedly derived from Hitler's first name Adolf. Also, stating that Amidon had been called Adolfin (Adolphine) among soldiers and civilian people is entirely unfounded. In fact, the name Adolphine was created in the US in the nearly 1970s:
"The invention of the term 'Adolphine' by New York City street linguists in the 1970s was an apparent to discredit methadone treatment by those unsympathetic to it, using the Hitler association" (BYRNE 1995.20;see also KLEBER 2002)
Me is expericening methadone withdrawal since 6 days (Cold Turkey after stopping to take 75mg orally of the methadone-DL-racemat for ~6 months from one day to another) I'm happy to didn't take the L-Racemat of methadone. (I think its a german specialty, not available in other countrys, its called Polamidon or L-Polamidon and has even longer or doubled half-time of elemination)
To take methadone for me was like a deal with the devil, I knew from beginning. There are lessons to be learned.I could rest for 6 months but have to pay it back now. I hate methadone for many reasons:
withdrawal lasts longer than with heroin, anorexia/lack of appetite, sweating, its effects are no compare to heroine. It makes physically more addictive. The daily visits to doctor 'cause no "Take-Home" and so on....
Damn evil drug.
For substituion in prison -here in germany are given 20mgs a day for 10 days in most prisons for addicts- in my opinion its o.k., or better than nothing.
I'm sending out force and power to everyone who is trying to kick his methadone/opiate habit. Hold on! The time is running for you, not against you! It's getting even better day for day, hour for hour.
^ ^ ^ ^
First off let me state that I'm lying or might be when I say.....
Good post Freak except you've been a slighly bad boy with the self-incrimination. I think that there is some reason why we shouldn't self-incriminate to do with the site, as opposed to the police knocking on our own doors, but I'm not exactly sure. I really like posts that quote sources for things.
Anyway, I get so sick of that whole "Adolphine" myth. I've heard it often over 20 years. You've put me right back into the 90s lol when I was once a junky in Berlin on the Bahnhoft Zoo scene. I just love the way dealers in Berlin are so well how do I say this...German in a good way, you shake hands, and very rarely get ripped off. I got onto the pink methadone (daily pick up) etc. I got 30ml of this stuff a day, and was lucky to live first time I took it as I was only on 30mg (in 30ml) methadone in England, when I got my German script. Any Englishman going to Germany heed this warning, it's 5 times stronger over there (vol/vol)!!! Well my 30mg habit was soon a 150ml one, and only went up after that.
What you're saying about Polamidone, I heard too from the Junkies in Berlin, but if you think-about (racemetric) DL-methadone is just L-methadone (Polamidon) mixed with D-methadone. Ah.....but the D-methadone is the NMDA-antagonist [ref: d-Methadone Blocks Morphine Tolerance and N-Methyl-D-Aspartate-Induced Hyperalgesia
Antonia M. Davis and Charles E. Inturrisi ].....so it's not impossible that L-methadone is stronger than an equivalent (double dose) of DL-methadone. If anyone has a reference on this please post it or PM me with it.
Most importantly of all I'm beaming you my best wishes on your c-turkey. I'm on day 8 of mine, except mine is more of a coolish-turkey, in that I reduced from 225mg to 5mg over 36 days before I jumped. It's a bitch to quit, but it can be done! And every tick of the clock however agonizingly slow, is one second further away, if only, if only, you can gird your loins and fight like a tiger!! RRRRRRRRRoooooooooooaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr....
Love to all
Dr D.
Dickon added 19 Minutes and 56 Seconds later...
P.S.
I think you've squashed one urban myth only to replace it by another one. I quote: "Conclusions: D,L-methadone and L-methadone can safely be replaced by each other on a 2:1 ratio. Withdrawal symptoms or side-effects due to conversion are of transient nature only" from "The effects of racemic D,L-methadone and L-methadone in substituted patients : a randomized controlled study" by VERTHEIN Uwe; ULLMANN Rainer; LACHMANN Anke; DÜRING Andreas; KOCL Barbara; MEYER-THOMPSON Hans-Günter; SCHMIDT Rolf; REIMER Jens; HAASEN Christian. Another paper does state that the pharmacological interaction between the D- and L- enantiomers does need further study but seems to agree with the above, except possibly to say that the racemetric methadone contols opiate cravings better (presumably - I'm guessing - because of the NMDA-receptor antagonism of the D-stereoisomer) [L-Methadone and D,L-methadone in methadone maintenance treatment: a comparison of therapeutic effectiveness and plasma concentrations. I can't cut and paste the authors so I'll leave that to you]
^ ^ ^ ^
First off let me state that I'm lying or might be when I say.....
Good post Freak except you've been a slighly bad boy with the self-incrimination. I think that there is some reason why we shouldn't self-incriminate to do with the site, as opposed to the police knocking on our own doors, but I'm not exactly sure.[/SIZE]
Hi! Thank you for your nice response.
I'm not aware of self inciminating myself. The methadone I was taking was legally prescribted by a authorized M.D. to me.
ADD:
Oh yeah, the Bahnhof Zoo scene. Very well known (because the book and Film). Still present in TV how it goes along with Christiane F. She's still on methadone at this time they stated.
As a child I looked at the pictures in the book before i could read anything. I still have my book (pressed 1981). It fascinated me, the scene, the "Sound", the trips.
^ ^ ^
I would myself totally agree with you, in the technical sense of the word incrimination, since you are admitting no criminality. That said let me quote a passage of the rules:
"Because it is not possible for staff to keeping track of every members location and because most drugs are illegal somewhere, we consider confessing to any drug use to be self incrimination."
It's just a heads-up, because I've already got an official warning, and a nasty message from a moderator for things I thought were just this side of the line, but the powers that be seemed to differ with me. I think the Yanks are to blame, because even talking about drugs makes you a member of Al Quaida in the Bush administration's eyes.
But enough of this dull (but important I'm sure) stuff. How the hell is someone holding up with someone's w.d.? I knew a man from St. Ives (with lots of wives sacks cats and kits) who has got past hour 180 of his w.d. Keep fighting!
Oh thanks for the advice. I didn't had this passage of the rules in my mind. It's comprehensible. Excuse me please.
lorzapmail
08-11-2008, 01:20
Swim wonders why you put yourself through cold turkey, You should at least consider your blood presure. It will go through the roof during withdrawal. Very dangerous.